Be a cult member today! Whee! :D

Are you lost? Alone? Miserable?

Then come! Join the Cult of Frunobulax!

Witness! I was unfound, dazed amidst a sea of gunslingers, philosophers, naked women with glittery cleavage, and sheep of questionable pedigree, and I knew not what to do.

Then the Way was opened unto me, and I have found the True Path.

"In the beginning there was only Frunobulax, and in His infinite wisdom He declared "Let there be forums!", and the universe doth shook with the power of his creative force. Where once was nothing there arose the Almighty Kingdom of TheDarkTower.net. In this paradise, true believers could bask in His glory and know the true meaning of existence through the everlasting grace of His Divine Postwhoring."

The Book of Frunobulax, Chapter 1, Verse 1

In tomorrow's sermon, we shall learn of the creation of the Interloper (Walter O'dim) and his banishment to the fiery nether-regions of General Discussion for his fondness for sheep.

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22 Comments

  1. Mr Angry said,

    Saturday, April 15, 2006 at 10:56 am

    I’m sorry, but if I find myself in the midst of naked women with glittery cleavage, that when I stop looking for something better.

  2. miranoriel said,

    Saturday, April 15, 2006 at 11:02 am

    Hmmm. I’d better go put something on, then. This isn’t helping the membership drive… 😀

  3. Frunobulax said,

    Saturday, April 15, 2006 at 11:18 am

    Thanks fer the plug, mira!

  4. miranoriel said,

    Saturday, April 15, 2006 at 11:35 am

    Anything for you and the COF(TM), o fearless and shiny leader.

  5. Shepheard said,

    Saturday, April 15, 2006 at 11:59 am

    Does this cult have any sheep that need “tending?”

  6. miranoriel said,

    Saturday, April 15, 2006 at 12:03 pm

    I was a lost sheep once… then I found the Cult of Fruno!

  7. Shepherd said,

    Saturday, April 15, 2006 at 12:17 pm

    or a classroom to teach me to spell “shepherd.”

  8. pathoftheturtle said,

    Saturday, April 15, 2006 at 3:19 pm

    The true interloper is the ceo of Starbucks. Without Frunobulax to restore us to the security of Palaver with lip-glossed glittergirls, he’d cast us all down to be shat upon by sheep unknown even to Walter. Hail Fruno! for he delivered us from the darkness, and the trouble, and the disgusting filth that gathers and slithers and all the yucky muck & blechhy slime and the endless weariness of an eight hour shift without web access.

  9. miranoriel said,

    Saturday, April 15, 2006 at 7:42 pm

    Amen, Brother Path! Amen! Verily, I say unto thee: for this is the True Way, from which we who have been enlightened shall never stray henceforth! Join me, brothers and sisters! Raise high thine Frunobucharger 3000's (no mean feat, as our leader has declared them to weigh 15 lbs. when filled with freshly-brewed French roast — no whipped cream, please) and praise Fruno! Share khef with me, and follow our shiny leader to everlasting giddiness and frivolity amongst glittery cocktail umbrellas and customized fezzes!

    And yes, Shepherd, we have that too. 😀

  10. Frunobulax said,

    Sunday, April 16, 2006 at 6:36 am

    Let’s share khef! And thusly we shall become as one ka-tet! I may be called your dinh if you so please, but I prefer Fruney.

  11. miranoriel said,

    Sunday, April 16, 2006 at 8:58 am

    I’ll share khef with the Fruno tet, but I ain’t kissin’ anyone who’s kissed Walter O’dim! He tastes like sheep.

    And don’t ask me how I know.

    Hey! Here’s an idear! Why not start the Book of Fruno as a blog? The charter members of the COF could mod it, and any new gospels could be sent in to us for posting. Then members could just place a link in their sig.

  12. Frunobulax said,

    Sunday, April 16, 2006 at 10:25 am

    I love that idea, mira! But where do we start it? We could create one here and PM the password and stuff around. PM me the full deal, please.

  13. miranoriel said,

    Sunday, April 16, 2006 at 10:35 am

    Okeydokey, fearless Frunilicious One. Will get on it ASAP. 🙂

  14. Frunobulax said,

    Sunday, April 16, 2006 at 10:37 am

    Thanks. I think that I can finally get this thing rolling with your help!

  15. miranoriel said,

    Sunday, April 16, 2006 at 10:41 am

    Check your PM, Fruney. 😀

  16. Shepherd said,

    Tuesday, April 18, 2006 at 2:15 am

    Why no whipped cream ma’am? Whipped cream can be fun!

  17. Shepherd said,

    Tuesday, April 18, 2006 at 2:26 am

    “Woe to you O Earth and Sea. For Frunny sends out the beast (sheep) with wrath, (David Lee Wrath to be exact), because he knows the time is short. Let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the beast (sheep), for it is a ruminant number. It’s number is nineteen.

    – The Revelation of St. Frunny 13:16-18

  18. miranoriel said,

    Wednesday, April 19, 2006 at 5:56 am

    Whipped cream, my dear Shepherd, when applied in a judicious amount with the proper force in the appropriate locations, may indeed serve as an interesting ingredient to certain physical delights.

    Such as the consumption of ice cream, and pie. It’s particularly effective with mangoes, too. In a crepe. With chocolate sauce.

  19. Jorge said,

    Wednesday, April 19, 2006 at 9:21 am

    You folks are silly. Just plain silly. 😛

  20. miranoriel said,

    Wednesday, April 19, 2006 at 9:25 am

    We deal in silly.

  21. Shepherd said,

    Wednesday, April 19, 2006 at 12:14 pm

    miranoriel said,

    April 19, 2006 at 5:56 am

    Whipped cream, my dear Shepherd, when applied in a judicious amount with the proper force in the appropriate locations, may indeed serve as an interesting ingredient to certain physical delights.

    Such as the consumption of ice cream, and pie. It’s particularly effective with mangoes, too. In a crepe. With chocolate sauce.

    I think this idea should be explored a bit.

  22. LilDudeXS said,

    Sunday, December 17, 2006 at 12:04 pm

    This sounds like my kind of cult. =D


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