I enjoy being a girl.

I was going through some of my older posts, and came across one of my favorites. Just for the heck of it, I’ll re-post it here.

Such useful things, men are.

I was talking to a friend who considers herself a feminist. She’s one of those women who would get a slipped disc before she asked a man to help her carry her widescreen TV through a revolving door, harrumph, take that, male chauvinist pig! She pays her own bills, drives her own car, all that “Independent Woman” shtick.

But then, so do I.

Furthermore, I can change a tire, fix a leaky faucet, assemble a Tamiya/Battle Beadaman/Zoid/Crush Gear/Hotwheels playset, and program a VCR. Plus, the office photocopier loves me and will apparently work properly only within my proximity.

The main difference between us is that she feels empowered by rejecting a man’s offer of help, while I think that men are just the greatest labor-saving device on the planet.

I see no point in getting my own hands dirty, or working up a sweat, when there’s a perfectly handy male specimen about most of the time. Just because I prefer to ask a man to do the dirty work (usually with a smile and a judicious amount of eyelash-batting) and save myself the trouble, it doesn’t mean I’m allowing my womanhood to be trodden upon. It’s just me saving myself the trouble. The bonus? The guy feels like he’s this big, strong superhero, coming to the rescue of the damsel in distress. Puffs him up, I get things done. Easy peasy. Doors are opened for me, chairs are pulled out when I take my seat, I walk on the safe side when crossing the street. The security guards at our building know me, greet me with a smile and now and then a little salute, and are always quick to find me a parking space. The little perks of knowing when to smile, and always being a lady.

My friend thinks I’m perpetuating the stereotype of women being helpless, hapless, mindless bimbos who can’t exist without a man there. I don’t. Men are useful, and they’re most useful when they’re happy. So how much skin off my nose will it be if I ask a guy nicely to please lift that awfully heavy box, oh you big strong wonderful thing you, my hero? A woman has power in abundance — the real challenge is knowing when and where to use it.

I believe, fiercely, in getting ahead on your own merits. I work for what I have, and I pay my own way. I’m proud of the things I’ve done, and where I am. I don’t need to prove anything to anyone, and I’d gladly accept a man’s offer of assistance if it’ll make my life easier because I know myself well, and I know that it doesn’t take away from who I am, it isn’t an admission of weakness, and it isn’t an insult. I also know how to choose my battles, and maximize resources.

Like men. 😀



  1. anti said,

    Sunday, May 25, 2008 at 3:06 am

    Great post. I am more of a tomboy, so my hands are already dirty, but it doesn’t hurt my feelings a bit to ask a man to help. I don’t even feel bad if he goes ahead and does the whole chore. Getting your feelings hurt because someone tries to help is non-productive.

    My husband holds doors for me. It doesn’t mean I am too helpless to open a door, it is a sign of respect.

  2. miranoriel said,

    Sunday, May 25, 2008 at 11:01 am

    I don’t mind getting my hands dirty either; good, honest work makes good, honest dirt, and the satisfaction of a job well done with your own two hands is the best feeling in the world. Dirt washes off, half-baked results, not so much.

    But… “Getting your feelings hurt because someone tries to help is non-productive.”


    “My husband holds doors for me. It doesn’t mean I am too helpless to open a door, it is a sign of respect.”

    Don’t you just love a man that doesn’t have to think twice about being a gentleman? 😀

  3. Louie said,

    Tuesday, June 10, 2008 at 2:49 pm


    I’ve always suspected I was being used by all the silly women I’ve known. Now I need to figure out if that bothers me or not…

    Maybe you should tell me.


  4. miranoriel said,

    Thursday, June 12, 2008 at 8:56 am

    Hmm. That depends, Louie.

    If you’re left feeling good, then it shouldn’t bother you, should it? You big strong smart cutie you.


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